ever changing manifestos
My manifesto could be about a lot of things… it could be about the art I believe in or the type of creative room I like to be in. It could be about things I hate because everyone is a little convinced that I don’t hate anything. It could be about where I come from or where I want to go. It could be about how I never want to create art alone because everything I love about it comes from the people I work with. It could be about my fascination with people…
But really all my manifesto needs to be about is one funny little word.
This word is used way too much and absolutely not enough. I believe in its power entirely and I will explain it the only way that I know how…
It is laying in your perfectly soft bed on a beautiful Sunday morning when it’s exactly the right temperature and your blankets hug you close. The sun kisses your face and you slowly begin to wake up…
It is walking on the beach at sunset when there is just the right amount of a breeze running through your hair and across the tip of your nose. Your toes dig into the hot sand with every step with the sound of the gentle rolling waves…
It is your mom. Your dad. They haven’t seen you in awhile or won’t see you for awhile and they hug you in the way that only a parent can. When they don’t want to let go, but are so proud to send you off.
It is your dog coming over to you voluntarily to rest his big dumb adorable dog head in your lap.
It is that special someone, you know them, the one that sets your stomach off in knots. They brush their hand against yours, or smile at you with that stupid amazing smile. They wrap their arms around you and they smell that certain way…
It is laying in bed… after…
It is laughter. Unstoppable, uncontrollable, 3am laughter. In your stomach and your chest. In your abs and your forehead and your throat.
It is relaxation.
It is warmth.
It is safety.
It is pride.
It is joy.
It is all the things that sends feeling down your spine and into your fingertips. The things that make you aware of the pit of your stomach and your calves and the top of your head.
It is that feeling.
I would argue that that feeling in all of its complex, complicated, completely different forms… is what we try to describe when we use the word
Love, a word we use too freely and yet do not use enough. A single four letter word that encompasses the most extreme and beautiful emotions, so intense that we are often afraid to use it.
I would also argue that the incredibly complicated, unobtainable, ideal “love” that we were all taught to search for doesn’t exist. Instead, I believe in Sunday morning love and parents hugs love and walks on the beach love and kisses on the cheek love and love in laughter and sleep and dogs.
I believe in the word love. I believe in the feeling love.
I believe it is something that we are all searching for in our own specific ways.
And I believe it is my purpose in life to give that feeling away. To inspire it in others.
I believe in love.
For those who believe “love trumps hate”...
I love love.
I believe love can be magnificently powerful.
I believe love and kindness are necessary and beautiful.
I strive to approach everyone with love,
But I don’t think it’s the same love that you are speaking of.
I believe in a different kind of love.
A radical love.
A deep, fraught, complicated love that can hold multiplicities.
A love that practices holding many opposing truths simultaneously.
Love is not an action. Love inspires actions.
Sometimes, my love inspires actions that don’t always look like love.
Sure, it includes kindness and smiles.
But my love also includes accountability.
My love includes seeing harsh truths.
My love includes setting boundaries.
My love doesn’t end,
But it has limits
That cause transitions.
My love guarantees that I will work
And to listen.
My love does not guarantee that I trust you.
My love does not guarantee that I will always seem kind.
My love does not make space for sweeping things under the rug.
My love holds fear and passion and reevaluations.
All that to say....
Do not use “love” as an excuse to turn away.
Do not use “love” as a way to ignore your DUTY to fight for the lives and LOVE LOVE LOVE on your family, friends, and neighbors who need you.
Stop saying “no matter what”. It is time to face the accountability side of true, deep, fraught, radical love.
Running a room